


there ain’t no rest for the wicked

by virotutis



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, ill write more for this au eventually, short and dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 20:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1239625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virotutis/pseuds/virotutis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shintaro does not like Mondays, and the universe continues to spite him by making everything bad that happens to him occur on that day, like accidentally closing the door on his finger or accidentally downloading a strange program from an unknown sender that continuously fucks up his shit and flirts with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there ain’t no rest for the wicked

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted on tumblr as shintato. au based off of an idea that harooks/konokuroha from tumblr had

The day that Shintaro inevitably fucks up his life again, it’s a Monday.

Mondays are not good days, in his humble opinion. Monday is the day that the adults go back to work and students go back to school after their short two days of vacation, always tired and worn out from the five days of school and homework and people and dreading coming back. Mondays are terrible and full of despair.

Last Monday, Shintaro walked right into a wall and hit his forehead, right after getting a terrible paper cut. This Monday, he accidentally tripped and fell into the bathtub, grabbing onto the shower curtain and ripping it from the pole, pulling it down with him. Plus, they ran out of soda and he had to wait for Momo to get home to send her to go get him some more, having to listen to her complain about him being too lazy to go out on his own.

The day that he met Ayano on the rooftop of the school was a Monday, and the day that Ayano went flying off the roof and right into the asphalt walkway, smashing her small, fragile body against the ground and breaking her bones to bits was a Monday as well.

Shintaro does not like Mondays, for good reasons too, and the universe continues to spite him by making everything bad that happens to him occur on that day, like ending up accidentally closing the door on his fingers or tripping down the stairs and getting a concussion or accidentally downloading a strange program from an unknown sender that continuously fucks up his shit.

The thing, program, virus, person, whatever it is, calls itself Kuroha. It shows itself as a male wearing a ridiculous outfit with yellow arrows on his pants and boots and strange belts hanging from his clothing, with black hair tied into a small ponytail at the back of his nape, a pair of yellow eyes, and two yellow circular marks on his cheek.

Shintaro doesn’t know jack shit about this thing. All he knows about it is that it showed up in his email one early Monday morning and downloaded itself to his computer, that he can’t uninstall it no matter how much he tries, and that it has a weird crush on him or something, considering how it always tries to flirt with him, batting its eyelashes at him and giving him suggestive looks and crooked grins.

It doesn’t leave him alone, no matter how much Shintaro glares at it and curses it out. It always seems to need to comment on whatever Shintaro does and always needs to be given attention, like a puppy, or it will start messing with Shintaro’s files and deleting important folders.

Shintaro humors it, because he actually really needs those files and Kuroha will delete them to oblivion if Shintaro doesn’t keep it happy, and because, maybe, he’s actually getting just the tiniest bit lonely by himself in his room with only his computer and a rabbit.

He’s alone now after all, because Ayano is dead and gone and there’s no one else that cared for him like she did. All he has left is a strange computer program that has no intention of ever leaving him, so he might enjoy as well enjoy it.

Despite the amount of attention that it requires, Kuroha isn’t exactly a terrible companion to have. There are times when they have some decent conversations, not completely filled with innuendos and euphemisms and terrible pickup lines, and Shintaro appreciates them slightly.

Although, when Kuroha isn’t being a total creep, there’s something about it that’s familiar, something about the cheerful grins that Kuroha gives him occasionally and the soft laughter whenever it manages to fluster Shintaro with its shenanigans that makes Shintaro remember a tall, sickly boy with a mole underneath his eye and a sketchbook at his side.

It doesn’t last very long though, because the moment that Shintaro has a name on his tongue and a large, warm smile in his mind, Kuroha will suddenly do something like close all of Shintaro’s windows without saving any of the progress he made on his songs or abruptly deleting some of his files and distract him from his thoughts.

By the time he’ll remember about it again, it’ll be three in the morning and he’ll be staring up at the ceiling and trying desperately to fall asleep while he ignores Kuroha trying to talk to him, and he’ll think over it again, finding the idea just plain stupid and wondering why he ever considered it earlier and end up letting out a groan before rolling over and shoving his face into his pillow.

Kuroha will then make some kind of inane comment about him “having something better for you to be choking yourself on, if you get what I mean”, complete with a stupid wink and dumb double pistols, and Shintaro will just silently raise his middle finger in the direction where his computer is and Kuroha will snicker at him.

After that exchange, Shintaro will eventually fall asleep and then get woken up at eight in the morning on the dot, with “My Heart Will Go On” blasting loudly on his speakers as Kuroha’s ‘loving’ wake-up call. His mother will come rushing in and complain about the volume, ignoring Shintaro’s attempts to explain to her that no, it isn’t him, come on; just listen to me for once please.

Eventually, she’ll leave, and Shintaro will slam his head into his wall a couple of times while Kuroha laughs his pixel ass off, and another day full of being pestered by it will start again.


End file.
